Ego is The Enemy
I read Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holliday a while ago, but I thought it would be a good time to revisit some of the principles. Ego is defined as “your idea or opinion of yourself, especially your feeling of your own importance and ability”, and we all have one. It seems to get in the way of many aspects of our lives and yet we can’t seem to shake it. We tend to blame other people or things for our problems, and we don’t seem to look inward as often as we should. Ryan Holliday breaks the fight against the ego into three parts, Aspire, Success and Failure. We should remain humble in our aspirations, gracious in our success and resilient in our failures. In addressing these three parts of our careers or lives, he points out the ways in which the Ego plays a part and how it may hinder our progress and deal with these pivotal moments by fighting the ego.
Aspire
Throughout the book, Holiday uses historical examples of leaders to get his point across. In order to remain humble in our aspirations, we need to do less talking and more doing. The people who talk about what they are doing and do it for attention, seem to fizzle out. While the people who are putting in the hard work and grinding through the difficult times are the ones who will eventually see results. In doing this we need to fight that sense of entitlement and determine whether we really need these things or we’re just doing them for the attention it may bring. Doing something for the sake of the journey brings about a better mindset than pursuing something purely for the desired outcome.
It is important to become a student in everything we do. There is always something to learn from someone else, whether they be older or younger than you. There is always something to learn and we have access to so many resources, we don’t have an excuse not to. Ego tends to get in the way at times and people aren’t willing to listen to someone younger or less experienced than they are. Successful people can admit their inexperience and learn from everyone and anyone. We have to do all of this without passion because passion clouds our judgment. The critical work that we want to do requires deliberation and consideration and a better attitude to have is one of humility and intimidation for what is to come. “Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be.”
Holiday suggests applying the canvas strategy, which is basically clearing the path for others and making them look good. If you do this with no expectations of anything in return, you will benefit from this in the future. Examples he gives to apply in the workplace are:
Come up with new ideas to hand over to your boss.
Find people, thinkers, and up-and-comers and introduce them to each other. Cross wires to create new sparks.
Find what nobody else wants to do and do it.
Find inefficiencies and waste and redundancies. Identify leaks and patches to free up resources for new areas.
Produce more than everyone else and give your ideas away.
The person who clears the path ultimately determines its direction.
To apply all of this and remain humble we need to get out of our own heads and simply work. We should rein in our own perceptions and focus on living in reality. Although it may be uncomfortable at times and imagining an ideal future may seem easier. Living in the present and focusing on the work needed to be done to make progress is what is necessary. The work that no one else sees, that you do for yourself, because you know it’s necessary and may not be enjoyable at times. “You know a workman by the chips they leave. It’s true. To judge your progress properly, just take a look at the floor.”
Success
Once success is achieved it brings about a whole new set of challenges. Some people really struggle with success and it can be the worst thing to happen to a person. They tend to get arrogant complacent and entitled, all because of their ego. It is important to remember to remain a student, just because you’ve reached the top of the mountain you were climbing, doesn’t mean there isn’t more to climb. We don’t want to fall into self-imposed ignorance. Instead of telling ourselves that we are living this great story and that we have reached the top, we need to focus on the execution in the best way we can. What got you to the top will be the only thing that keeps you there and that should remain the focus. Focussing on what’s important to you without letting others influence you. Staying focused becomes harder as you gain more success, and as more people want a part of the action, you have to be able to stay on the desired path.
When your pursuit grows into something bigger than you can manage on your own, you need to be willing and comfortable delegating. Delegating in a way where you trust the people doing the work and you don’t try and control it all. Letting go of that paranoia and trusting in what you’ve created can prevent you from strangling the growth and lead to an abundance of new opportunities. You don’t have to do it all. Being able to manage yourself and those around you is very important to get everyone working towards the same goals. Each pursuit requires the right environment and systems to achieve the best results. Each pursuit is different and it’s important to figure out what works in order to work together efficiently.
Failure
Failures are inevitable and the ego can often be to blame. The ego can also leave us underprepared for these setbacks, but what we need to do is increase our self-awareness, and find purpose, poise, and patience. We need to be able to respond to what life throws at us and be prepared and resilient to make it through. Holiday says that we shouldn’t consider any time to be dead time, and by dead time he means a time where we can’t do anything or progress. No matter what your circumstance or situation, there is always something that can be done to work towards where you want to go. Doing the work is enough to get you there. We shouldn’t rely on other people’s validation in order to feel accomplished. Just like Van Gogh, he did his work to the best of his ability and nothing came of it until after he passed away. The focus should be on the work and not the outcome. Being able to appreciate the journey is so important as that’s what we have to look back on. Only you really know what you put in to get there.
“The only real failure is abandoning your principles.” It is important to have the humility to resort back to those first principles of aspiration. Understanding that things come and go, and we can’t be so stubborn to hold on to something that is lost or has failed. We can keep a personal scorecard to continuously aim higher, to always improve bit by bit. Your reputation has got to be able to withstand a few blows or else it wasn’t worth anything in the first place. Finally, we need to remember to do all of this with love. Love is egoless, open, positive, vulnerable, peaceful, and productive.
This book has made me more aware of when my ego appears and has helped me keep it in check. The examples he gives of challenges faced by many historical figures make it that much easier to relate to. If you’ve realised that your ego may be getting in the way at times, then just acknowledging that means you’re already improving. Picking up this book could get you all the way there. Improvement and the journey are the priority.