9 Tips to Face Discomfort

Naturally, we gravitate towards what’s comfortable. If things are going well, we don’t see any reason to be uncomfortable and that makes sense. But sometimes, even if things are going well, we still have that voice in the back of our head wanting change. It could be a change in ourselves, in our lifestyles or surroundings, but we never get around to them because they seem scary or out of reach. We are only able to grow by doing things that are uncomfortable, but it isn’t always easy. It’s easier to come up with excuses and convince yourself that it isn’t important. Jay Shetty recently released a podcast episode where he gave nine tips on how to do uncomfortable things. I thought I’d try and relate them to myself and see what I need to work on.

Start small

It seems obvious, but many don’t take this approach and end up failing because they take on too much at once. A good exercise is to start with your main goal or what you want to change in your life. Then ask yourself, “how do I do that?” This helps break down the goal into smaller chunks. You can repeat the process over and over again until you have a small manageable task that will help you work towards your goal. You could eventually get to the action of reading one page a day if your goal is to read X number of books in a year, or 5 minutes of practice a day to learn a new language. Making the tasks smaller helps them seem achievable.

Slow down, pause and reflect

This is one tip that always needs improvement. Jay recommends a deep breathing exercise where you breathe in for 4 seconds and exhale for 8. This calms you down and centres you, helping you make clear and calculated decisions. You can also try your hand at meditation, but this may take a bit more time and practice compared to the breathing exercise. The point is to pull yourself out of the anxiety and fast pace to regain composure.

Do one thing a year that you work towards that makes you uncomfortable

This is my favourite tip and I try to do things that make me uncomfortable more than once a year. New opportunities come from doing things that are uncomfortable and once we do them, they don’t seem that scary anymore. The discomfort is a good indication of growth and I use it as a guide to help me decide things. If it is something I’ve said I wanted to do, but when the time comes to do it, I feel uncomfortable or hesitant I would force myself to do it. I have never regretted this approach and have always learnt something by doing this.

Surround yourself with people who do uncomfortable things

This is something I’m working on at the moment. I don’t interact with enough people who are doing things that truly make them feel uncomfortable. I’m trying to reach out to people in different circles and meet people with similar interests as me. This does make me uncomfortable and so I know I’m heading in the right direction. I try to supplement my time with podcasts and YouTube videos of people I want to interact with, but I know this isn’t the same as real human interaction.

Don't be afraid of failure

This is easier said than done, but it is something that we can train ourselves to think about. With practice and failing repeatedly, we learn to appreciate our failures and see them more as lessons rather than outright failure. Most successful people tried and failed at many things before they found the one thing that they were good at and could focus on. We don’t see what went into their success and so it’s harder to see them for their failures. It’s important not to care about what other people think. This will make failure easier. It is tricky to change the way you think and not be affected by others’ opinions, but it is possible and is something that everyone should work on.

Take note of the progress

I struggle with acknowledging my progress because it feels like I haven’t got to where I need to be. I don’t reflect on my progress and take the time to streamline my process enough. While we’re trying to achieve something, the process is just as important as reaching the end. We learn so much in the process, but so much can be lost if we don’t evaluate what we’ve learnt. This can help prevent mistakes and improve our approach. Acknowledging our progress can be motivating and illuminate just how far we’ve really come.

Act like you know zero

If you plan on doing all the talking, there’s going to be no room for you to learn. If you think you know a lot about something, there’s a strong chance that your ego is attached. Your ego makes it harder to hear counterarguments and understand that you could be wrong about things. That’s why it’s better to assume you know less than everyone else. This means you are always willing to listen because there is always something to learn from others. I like this approach because it keeps you open-minded and leaves the possibility that you could be wrong. This makes it a lot easier to accept when someone does prove you wrong. It comes from a place of positivity that you now know more than you used to, and your pride doesn’t take a hit because you weren’t so attached to that idea.

Accept correction and feedback without justification

This point may be one of the most difficult things to get good at. We attach a lot of our pride to the things we do and so hearing negative or constructive feedback about our work can be difficult. Only we know how much work we really put in and so our feelings can be easily hurt if the feedback isn’t what we wanted to hear. If we can change our perception of feedback and see it as constructive and the person giving it is just trying to help us improve, then we won’t feel the need to justify our actions and be more willing to accept it, use it, and improve.

Prepare - Stop Postponing

Setting yourself a deadline can be one of the most helpful tricks to get things done. If we don’t set a deadline to accomplish things, we tend to push it down the list and never get to it. I make the mistake of not setting a deadline and I always struggle to get to it. The things I do get done always have a deadline and so I’m trying to make sure I always have one for things that are important to me. I’ve been busy lately and I’m reading less than I’d like. I’m going to set a date for when my book must be finished by and I’m sure I’ll finish it then.

These tips have helped me gauge where I stand on facing things that make me uncomfortable. There is a lot to work on, but I think that having this checklist will help me make sure I don’t slip up as often as I used to. It’s all about balancing growth, enjoyment and pressure and I’m still working on that balance.