Self-Reliance
Ralph Waldo Emerson was an American essayist, lecturer, philosopher, abolitionist and poet who led the transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century. He was a deep thinker and an advocate for individualism. Before he passed away in 1882 he wrote essays titled "Self-Reliance", "The Over-Soul", "Circles", "The Poet", "Experience", and "Nature". It’s amazing to look back at his essays and compare our world now to a 19th-century one. Recently his essays had been mentioned in quite a few pieces of content that I’d consumed. One essay, in particular, was mentioned in the books The Case Against Education by Bryan Caplan and You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor. Both authors are successful in their own rights and so I decided that this essay, Self-Reliance, was worth reading.
I couldn’t believe how applicable this essay is to someone living today. It was written 180 years ago in 1841 and yet we are still dealing with so many issues or challenges addressed in this essay. It is rather long and written in older English, so it took me a while to understand and fully grasp it. I’m going to try and touch on the important points raised by Emerson and hopefully explain his idea of what Self-Reliance is.
“Your conformity explains nothing”
Throughout the essay, Emerson implores people to be genuine to themselves and others. It’s not necessary to explain yourself to others if you act genuinely. If you do what feels right to you and pursue the things that really interest you, then others can tell and will understand why you do them. Character is cumulative and it’s about taking steps in your right direction. A series of small steps in the direction you want to go in turns into victories and part of those victories is realizing that conformity is what makes you lose. It’s about finding self-worth and never doubting yourself. Although I’m not where I want to be, taking steps in the right direction has made me feel a lot more optimistic. Most of the things I spend my time on revolve around this and it’s crazy that conformity was an issue then, just as it is now.
“Man is timid and apologetic; he is no longer upright; he dares not say 'I think,' 'I am,' but quotes some saint or sage”
Why are we still like this? If this was being pointed out then, why haven’t we improved at this? It is so common for people to quote someone’s ideas as their own, to use the news as their opinion. We don’t seem to have our own ideas anymore and people are too afraid to go against what everyone else thinks. We are hearing “I think” and “I am” less and less and even when we do hear them, we’re sceptical about whether that is their own opinion. This is becoming more of an issue today because a lot of people's views come from the news. The news is becoming so polarising and negative just to get eyeballs on a screen, it can skew your perception of the world. If people aren’t taking it with a pinch of salt and researching these stories further, the situation will only get worse.
“But man postpones or remembers; he does not live in the present”
This is a problem for most people. Living in the present has become so difficult with so much competition for our attention. We’ve got more things to worry about in the future and more opportunities to relive the past. Our minds always seem to be somewhere else other than right here. I’m not sure if it’s because of what I expose myself to, but it seems like more and more people are starting to meditate. Meditation used to have a very spiritual vibe to it and people were sceptical about whether it worked. Now with all of these apps like Headspace, Calm and Insight Timer, many people are giving it a go. It has been made accessible and easy and it seems like those who try it continue to do it because of all its great benefits.
“I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be the happier.”
We all know this to be true. Being our genuine selves and not trying to be someone we are not, is the easiest way to be happy. Even though we know this, it’s easier said than done. We are so easily influenced by societal norms and wanting to fit in that we lose track of who we are and what we like to do. Taking a step back and thinking about my priorities really helped me feel more like myself.
“We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other.”
Fear controls so much of what we do and most of the time it tends to be irrational. We aren’t afraid of the thing itself, but rather the story we’ve made up about it in our heads. The outcome is never as bad as we thought it would be. Our fears are based on previous experiences which means we have no idea how the future will go. Not trying because of fear can hold us back from achieving so many wonderful things. I’ve been trying to overcome my anxiety by doing things that make me uncomfortable. Leading up to it I feel physically sick and all the negative ‘what if’s” ran through my head. I know these thoughts are irrational and so I make sure I see them through. As soon as I’m in the moment, experiencing what I was afraid of, all the fear goes away, and I enjoy it.
“He walks abreast with his days and feels no shame in not `studying a profession,' for he does not postpone his life, but lives already. He has not one chance, but a hundred chances.”
Trying things is the only way we’re going to figure out what we enjoy and what we want to do for a living. Trying and failing at many things is how we learn and grow. It amazes me that so many people either put up with their job or follow a certain path because it looks good to others. Life is short and your job should be something you enjoy doing. Why can’t you wake up every morning and be excited to go to work? This may seem optimistic to some, but that’s ok because I’m going to keep trying and failing until I do wake up excited every day.
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”
Although this essay is long and written in old English, it touches on so many aspects of our lives that are still relevant today. It amazes me that a man was trying to inspire people to live a fulfilled life in 1841 and we’re still trying to do the same today. So many aspects of society and how we interact with each other haven’t changed one bit. We’re still dealing with insecurity, ambition, societal pressure, and happiness. We still seem just as confused and have more outside influences than ever before. The only thing we know for certain is that we can only control ourselves and how we see things. So, I guess we just stay true to our principles and try our best to grow.